Checking in, as it were. I've been about 400% tapped with work, and trying to keep semi sane. I think I'm doing fairly well with that, but we'll see if that bears out :)
Wy and Wyatt are doing well. Wy does a lot better with the patience side of things than I do, no great surprise there I suppose. I try to maintain my semi-useful status by doing the laundry, dishes, vacuuming, trash, pick up and put down, etc -- duties. Its a helluva lot more of a pain in the ass than you might realize with only one person driving. We don't exactly live in the best city for foot traffic, and biking is, frankly, dangerous.
So I'm semi in the process of getting my DL again. Though that opens up another whole can of worms with potential car payments and insurance and gas and and and and...Wy isn't really thrilled with the idea to be honest, nor are some others. Opinion being, and it certainly is valid, that she doesn't want me to run some poor sod over, or get into an accident. Which, again, is valid. Applicable to everyone else in the world, but valid nonetheless. But, eye doc says I'm good to go, given that I wear a bit of integrated telescope on the top of my sunglasses. I get to have him teach me how to use the thing, then go to one of the local driving schools until they are happy with my ability, at which time they send me off to the DMV for the 'Long' test. Now, admittedly I've not driven in 10 years, however my vision hasn't changed any. We'll see how it goes. Who knows, driving school types may say I'm unsafe at any speed, though back in the proverbial day I aced both the driving and written exams. Still, things change.
Why is this relevant? Not to whine here, but I _DO_ like to get out of the house on my own now and again, and its a burden on Wy, and others, to have to run me around. Either to the store, or to work, or to...anywhere. You that do drive, well, you take it for granted. For me...well, I'll paint you a picture:
Things on the list for 'the day' :
1. Go to work
2. Go home
Those are the 'have to do'.
Things that could/should be on that list:
.5 Grab coffee on way to office at local *$ that actually makes my chosen froofy drink correctly
.6 drop off dry cleaning
.9 pay storage place off by office
1. go to work
1.5 cruise down the road for lunch, go to bank
1.6 swing by pets mart for food for the 80lb bundle of pup
1.7 wander through Vons grabbing milk and cookies, random other groceries, and a jamba juice('cause, you know, I need more fiber in mah diet :) )
2.0 go home, cook for the wife and children
rinse/repeat as needed.
Now, how things usually work :
Wake up, either ask Wy if she can run me in by 'X', or page my buddy. Instantly I am A: waiting on someone else, and B: taking time out of their day. Neither of course mind, and have told me so repeatedly. Problem is _I_ mind. My friend is coming up this way anyway, so its really not a huge deal for him to grab me. Trouble it can be after 1pm before he gets me. Office is cool with that, since I Work From Home prior, but there are days when I'd rather not wait. Now if Wy runs me...I know she says its okay, but it really is a hassle for her IMHO. Get dressed, dress Wyatt, make sure pup is run/fed/watered, load Wyatt, dump me off, come back, unload Wyatt, go back to cleaning and taking care of the WWF (No, not the World Wrestling Federation! The Wy, Wyatt, Fender!).
So I get to work. And I stay at work.
5pm-ish rolls around, I start to try to find a ride home. I page my buddy again, or I ask my other guy across the hall, or the guy next to me, or that other guy some times. Or I call Wy. Doesn't that sound like a pretty big pain in the ass to deal with every fucking day of your life ? If it doesn't, I'd invite you to try it for a month and see what you think. Better yet, ask my friends that run me around what THEY think of it. Or my wife :) I know what they'd say actually. They'd say "its no big deal", because those are the kind of friends I have, they rule. (Of course Wy does too, don't even go there.)
No, the problem is what _I_ think. I don't want to be a hassle, not to say a burden. I certainly don't want to be 'that guy'. I don't know that many of you would understand this unless you've been there and HAD to rely on someone for something to this degree. No, its not like I need help out of bed or to eat or function in a basic capacity, I understand that. At some level, its just driving. But then, its not.
/me anxiously awaits the comments on this one :)
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5 comments:
Hi Todd...I truly feel for you..I know I don't know your pain with this, an nobody can say..just get over it...because we all need a little space now and then and driving does give you a little freedom even if it's just to run errands on your way to work or stop for coffee. We had an EVP here at First Data who has now moved on to the West Corp..wonderful man, extremely smart and traveled the world on business...also legally blind...also had to rely on his wife to get him to work and a ride home...and everywhere else..so I have been around this..no one thought any less of him..in fact we all marveled at his talents..we never thought about his less than perfect vision and limitations..we all have limitations, just he could't hide his. I appreciate your laying out your real feelings like you did...What a MAN! Take care..love Nancy
Hi Todd, you know we all feel bad for you. And, if they can certify you to drive as they did before, why not try. I know that brings a whole new group of things for you do to deal with, but at least it would be nice that you know, you could!
You have made great accomplishments in your life and we are all certainly very proud of you, your family and your job!
Love always, Mom & Phil
do what you gotta do darlin. you know you're not a pain in my ass. i love you very much. ~wifey
Not much to add. You can do whatever you set your heart to do. We all support you when and how we can.
If you get your DL and learn how to cope with SoCal and SD traffic, take care, think of your safety and the family.
Love,
Dad
You know, if you honestly believe you can get around out there without trouble and your eye doctor and the DMV agree, then I think you should sally forth. You more than anyone are aware of what both your limitations and your responsibilities are, and ultimately you'll do the right thing either way. Good luck!
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